The Gentleman has compiled your most Frequently Asked Questions about DC Weed Delivery, Pick-Up, and Storefronts into a helpful, supplementary guide. You’ve got Qs, I got As, let’s do this thing!
Do I need to be a DC resident to use these weed delivery services? Nope! Any adult 21+ can use DC’s I71 gifting services.
Do I need a medical marijuana card to use these weed delivery services? No medical card is required to use any of DC’s I71 gifting services. The city does have a medical marijuana program with six licensed dispensaries. You need a medical card to visit those, but they accept most out of state cards.
Can I get weed delivered to my hotel in DC? My apartment? A nearby cafe? Yes, yes, and yes. The only place they aren’t allowed to deliver are federal grounds & buildings, like the National Mall. Federal land means federal law applies and cannabis is not yet federally legal. Many DC weed delivery services do not operate east of the Anacostia River, either, choosing to concentrate on the heavily trafficked downtown & tourist areas instead- like Dupont Circle, Georgetown, Foggy Bottom, Adams Morgan, H St, and so on.
How long is my delivery going to take? Usually anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours. DC’s kind of a small city so it doesn’t really matter where you are, everybody’s gotta fight the same traffic to get to you. And have you seen these potholes? More like pot, uhhh…holes. Crap, I’m stoned.
The gift weed delivery service wants me to send them a photo of my ID first? Lots of brands do this for age verification and their own security. It’s a fairly standard request. Trust, as they say, is a two-way sex dungeon. Wait, what?
Who are your favorite I71 delivery brands? I love Puff Kings for their CBD:THC edibles. I love Green Kings for their solventless concentrates, the only shit I’ll dab any more. Plus they tend to stock the trendiest flowers, as does Exotic Organics. Fat Budz, along with several other brands listed on my Good Vape List, get CO2 vapes made by a local extraction team that does phenomenal work. Heady Club features the work of one of DC’s most talented growers. Exotic Blooms delivers on both ends of the spectrum with high-quality designer flowers and deals as low as $120 sticker-pack purchase that came with a whole ounce.
Canamelo keeps quality weed gifts at fair value and you can count on them to arrive at the window booked. Bagged Buds routinely goes above and beyond in their customer service. Lucky Chuckie and Athena’s Gifts are both open 24/7 and are of the few places around still making edibles with flower instead of distillate.
Who’s got the best/strongest weed in DC? The gifts available from most weed delivery services in DC change frequently, sometimes even daily, which is why I feature one every day on my Now Available page from one of the brands I have personally vetted for consistent quality and professional service over the last…geez, going on five years now. Before that, I spent eight years making my living by approving and managing vendors for outside work, so you could say I have some previous experience at this sort of thing.
I also care a lot- neurotically so- about what weed earns the Gentleman’s approval. Like, y’know the Treehouse of Horrors where Homer went to hell and was force-fed from the infinite donut machine? I don’t want to spend my afterlife smoking trash weed while the Devil pokes me with a pitchfork. Or is it a trident? Seems to me the former is altogether too…peasant-ish…for the Prince of Darkness, no? Well, I suppose it doesn’t matter from the stabby end, does it?
But I need that medical-grade weed! That’s not really a thing outside of California fifteen years ago, Mr. Duchovny. There’s no difference in quality or potency between recreational/adult-use and medical cannabis. Sorry to burst your bubble.
That premium indoor! More sparkly trichomes equate to higher potency than outdoor or greenhouse grade marijuana, but Indoor doesn’t necessarily translate to “quality.”
That AAA weed! Do I have to call security?
Pick-ups vs Delivery? Most services that do pick-ups require appointments, so it’s not necessarily faster than delivery, but you might get lucky! Of course, setting an appointment in advance is a great way to minimize your time getting weed and maximizing your time smoking weed, so it does pay to be organized…
As for my favorites, Baked DC has ranked up there forever. He has the CO2 vapes I like (ask specifically for the Gentleman’s favorite, they’ll know what you mean!), MOTA brand edibles, and I’ve found plenty of great flowers there over the years. A lot of the other Pick-Up places I like I already talked about in Delivery above.
I’m looking for a specific ratio of CBD:THC. You need a medical card if you want that all in one product. Our local medical dispensaries carry the cannabis gamut of 1:1, 2:1, 4:1, 16:1, whatever the h-e-double-hockey-sticks you want. While I don’t blindly trust their lab results with respect to cannabinoid potency, they are your best bet to get in the ballpark.
I71 gifting services overwhelmingly feature THC-dominant products, with Puff Kings’ 1:1 and 2:1 edibles a notable exception. CBD-only products, including flowers, are easy enough to find following the passage of 2018’s Farm Bill that legalized hemp. There’s plenty of CBD-specific stores around town that have them, along with most head shops/glass shops. Some will even mail CBD flowers to you!
If you’re not a resident of Maryland, DC, or VA, or getting a medical card isn’t an option for you, then your best bet is to put your science hat on and mix up the usual THC with readily available CBD-only products to figure out a combo that works for you. Bill Nye will be so proud.
Is DC weed lab-tested? Sometimes. Medical marijuana has to be tested by law. I71 do not, but occasionally you’ll find a brand with lab results to share with you. Whether you can trust those results or not is an entirely different question. I can make a COA myself in minutes by copying someone else’s, making a chart in InDesign ain’t rocket surgery, my dude. So then you gotta prove that the lab actually exists, is licensed, and the results are documented with them. If all that checks out, then you just gotta decide if the lab is trustworthy or not. Sure, that all sounds like the sort of thing you’re gonna do with your five minutes at the checkout counter.
Look, lab testing is all well and good and science is important (assuming accurate data), so I’m all for it. But I can point to some lab-tested weed on Maryland medical marijuana shelves for months- months!– after it was reported that the grower had used unlicensed pesticides, or I could just paraphrase Tommy Boy and explain that I can write lab-tested on a box but that won’t make it good weed. I wish I could say that you won’t find flowers that reek of ammonia (unflushed nutrients), hay (improper curing), or body odor (bacteria) at licensed dispensaries, but I’ve found all three and more here at home and across the country.
What about Storefronts? Brick and mortar shops like Gifted Curators, Peace in the Air, and No Kids Allowed are the life of the scene in 2021. They’ve reached that critical mass the old pop-ups got to, where there were too many for the cops to realistically shut them all down. At least part of the reason behind their current prevalence is that commercial landlords have been especially friendly toward I71 brands during the pandemic. Whether that trend will continue as the economy picks up, we shall see.
That being said, delivery, pick-up, and pop-ups generally offer more value to the consumer then storefronts if you’re looking to max out your DC possession weight at the full two ounces. Which stands to reason- storefronts gotta pay for commercial rents, security, and generally try to comply better with I71…of course their prices are higher, Timmy. But you don’t have to send an ID in advance and you get to check everything out before you buy. Eventually, the proliferation of storefronts will lead to price competition. The Games have already begun! The newer shops look like they’ve put serious thought into their design. You’d be hard pressed to tell the difference between them and licensed recreational dispensaries in other states with their plush lobbies & cool wall art.
What about the pop-up events? They’ve been getting raided by DC’s Metropolitan Police Department with regular frequency since late ’17. That makes me nervous about attending or advising you on where to find DC’s weed farmer’s markets. I try to avoid dramatic scenes with armed gunmen as a general life rule. Recently, though, the MPD appears to have switched focus to the ever-growing number of Storefronts in the city.
That being said, I hear some pop-ups are back up & running since the Covid vaccine was made available to all adults. Your best bet to find them is on social media.
What’s the difference between I71 weed gifting storefronts and dispensaries? Dispensaries possess city licenses to operate, must use a seed-to-sale tracking system, and have all their products lab-tested. Storefronts (along with Delivery and Pick-Up services) only need to comply with Initiative 71 gifting rules. And it ain’t like, uh, there’s an I71 board going around checkin’ on folks.
Does anyone still take credit cards? Few and far between these days. Scammers figured out they could argue the charge of their I71 purchases and get their money back. Once the payment processor got a chargeback request, though, they started going thru the brand’s account, saw what was going on, and kicked ’em off after freezing their funds. It became common to lose thousands of dollars this way, some brands were forced to close, and that’s why we can’t get airline miles for smoking weed anymore. Sigh. Now it’s mostly cash, but some take cryptocurrency and some take app payments.
Do your gifts have what it takes to be featured on GentlemanToker.com? I’m the pickiest little pillow princess! I don’t review marijuana that produces an acrid smoke which irritates the mouth or throat. As far as the smellz! God, I hope you don’t get that reference. Anyhoo, I won’t review anything that smells like Ammonia, Hay, Must, Grass, Sweat, Rotting Fruit, Chemicals, or has No Smell at all. Hell, I done gone and codified the whole thing for ya, if yer feelin’ a bit curious- here’s what I deem to be good weed. If you think you can pass this bar, contact me here and we’ll schedule an evaluation of your flowers.
Any other questions? Go ahead and shoot, partner! The Gentleman’s discretion is assured.