Reviewed: Exotic Organics

Today we’ll be reviewing Exotic Organics, one of our favorite I71 weed delivery services in Washington DC! Delivery sounds just the ticket, since I need to re-up my stash jar, but have most unfortunately run afoul of the rabid dazzle of Zebras that escaped from a Maryland farm recently in a Northwest alleyway, feasting on the carcass of a hapless bus boy who’d stepped out for a smoke. No longer satisfied to subsist on tire-pancaked rats, grease traps, and restaurant dumpsters, these degenerate creatures crave flesh. The long pig. In blind panic, I fled, but now that they know my scent, I fear to tread beyond my front door. My warnings to Animal Control went entirely unheeded, of course. “Zebras don’t exist,” they laughed, then disconnected and blocked my number. But I know they’re out there…I can feel them watching…lurking…and by Jove, my hopes of scoring some fresh nugs today shan’t be dashed by a feral pack of exotic horses! Hmm…exotic…I know someone that might be able to help me out of this jam.

Shopping at Exotic Organics

Exotic Organics’ website is bright, simple, and easy to navigate. In descending order of price and quality, their flower menu begins with “Boutique & Branded” flower at the highest tier, followed by flower “For Those with Exquisite Taste,” then “Super Premium,” and finally “Premium Flower”. Below the tiered flower menu are Exotic Organics’ selections of edibles, pre-rolls and cartridges. 

Browsing the Exotic Organics menu, I thought we’d better do this thing right and shop from the Boutique & Branded tier. Like most of the other tiers, the B&B menu has over a dozen different strains to select from. All the beautiful bud photos make for a tough decision, but Gary Payton by Cookies looks like the belle of the ball.

With my order in mind, I head over to the contact page. Exotic Organics DC has a $100 order minimum, as well as a $10-$15 delivery fee, depending upon your location. As with most I71 weed delivery services, you’ll have to send over a selfie in which you are holding up a clearly visible valid ID to get the process started. I got a friendly text back within five minutes after that asking for my order. Communication was quick and easy. After the usual yadda yadda yadda, I received a grand total for the designer stickers I was purchasing, confirmation of the free cannabis gifts I was getting, and an incredibly impressive delivery ETA of roughly 45 minutes. Exotic Organics texted me updates throughout the entire delivery, and the driver pulled up within a minute or two of when I expected them. Flawless Victory!

Reviewed: Gary Payton

I was very excited to try the Gary Payton strain, a collaboration between famed San Francisco cultivar Cookies and Powerzzz Genetics!. A cross between strains Snowman and the enigma known as The Y, Gary Payton is billed as a balanced hybrid with a solid body-high that won’t give you fog-head. That’s a new term I just made up, do you like it? Ah, it feels like I’ve known it all my life. But I digress- how does Gary Payton smell, smoke and smack?

Pass this man a Tums because ol’ Gary is gassy, with an underlying fruit-like sweetness. One beautiful, full-bodied tree makes up most of the bag, with a smaller, finely-shaped companion nug and a single popcorn stowing away in the corner. Trichomes are a bit light, still immature, but cover most of the bud. A few odd leaves protrude from the largest nug, but the stems are cut nice and tight, leaving a little room to grip, so no complaints about the manicure. You can clearly feel a delightful bit of resin sticking to your fingers when handling these light green beauties. Moisture is exactly where we want to see it. These flowers are fresh AF and roll up into a fantastic joint. Don’t mind if I do!

Gary Payton has a kinda “racy” high, with a bit of a lift-off after each hit, but no sustained “burn” like a Jack Herer. It is mentally stimulating, with a damn decent body high to match. I feel relaxed after smoking but still possess clarity of mind, maybe even some embers of creativity in there. I wrote this review after smoking it and you read my killer zebra bit, judge for yourself!

Even tokers that have never watched the legendary point guard himself play a game are really gonna like the hit, the high, and especially the aroma of this strain. Gary Payton is an absolute starter on my roster of midday hybrids to power me through ’til the evening. Appreciate the assist from our friends at Exotic Organics DC today! Are we all out of basketball puns already? Ok then, show’s over, folks.