Euphoria Healing & Wellness

If you’ve spent any time at I-71 cannabis gifting shops in DC, you know that the bulk of them are in Northwest DC, predominantly around Adams Morgan and Shaw. One of my biggest qualms about those neighborhoods is that they’re not the most accessible by public transit, and generally also have pretty abysmal parking. I once went to a storefront in NW with a Zipcar while running errands, and the parking situation was so horrid that I had to leave and come back the next day to get my samples. 

Stores in those neighborhoods are great if you live in the area, or if you’re there for other entertainment or events and don’t have to worry about your exit strategy, but if you’re not a local you might want to find other options around town. So I’m happy to report that in my research for new shops to report on for Gentleman Toker, I’ve found a wealth of stores in other parts of the city!

About Euphoria Healing & Wellness

This week, I visited Euphoria Healing & Wellness (not to be confused with Euphoria Wellness in New Market, MD, which is now a Verilife medical location) right down the street from the Eastern Market metro station. 

For those of us who like to grab smoke in the middle of the day and maybe puff a little bit while we’re out and about, Euphoria is an ideal option. It’s great if you’re looking to go to Eastern Market on the weekend, stroll around the National Mall and Monuments, or toke before a Nats game at Navy Yard. Sometimes some of us (ahem) forget that there’s a whole city outside the little central NW bubble. The hyperlocal community near Eastern Market has been good to Euphoria for as long as they’ve been operating. 

Shopping at Euphoria

The store entrance is flanked by businesses on both sides, and marked with a large sign at ground level. Like many storefront locations, Euphoria Healing and Wellness is on the second floor, where security greets you as you enter. On one side of the shop, a display holds all of the store’s cannabis gifts and CBD products, while the other side leads to private suites where wellness therapies take place.

Euphoria Healing & Wellness

Euphoria’s primary offering is their health and wellness programming, with programs ranging from a low-key mindfulness or guided breathing session, to a fitness assessment, or intensive therapies like the Asian back-walking massage, which the staff affectionately refers to as “The Jefferson.” Treatments cost between $30 and $90, and deeper-relaxation offerings like massages can be done with CBD therapy oils for an extra fee. 

What’s on the Menu at Euphoria?

In addition to wellness therapies and CBD products, Euphoria gifts a variety of cannabis flower ranging from $40-90 per 3.5 gram gift, depending on quality, with a selection of strains that I could tell would satisfy smokers of all kinds. 

Euphoria Healing & Wellness menu

Euphoria also offers two brands of medicated beverages: Stoneade lemonade and Forbidden Fruit mocktails. Both drinks are traditional market products that you won’t find on any retail/medical dispensary shelves. The staff described the Stoneade as being more suitable for more experienced smokers with higher tolerances and the Forbidden Fruit being better for folks looking for lower doses. I didn’t get to try the Stoneade, but the Forbidden Fruit passionfruit 100mg cocktail I got was tart, fruity and delicious. In a world where the most common edible offerings are distillate-sprayed knockoff candies, seeing these potables from the “little guy” was a welcome change of pace. A note to consumers: infused beverages are typically processed in your liver and large intestine, so they’re more bioavailable and therefore fast-acting than distillate or RSO candies and confections. 

Reviewed: Bubble Gum Kush and Space Runtz

In addition to the Forbidden Fruit drink, I got samples of Bubble Gum Kush and Space Runtz flower. Both had distinct aromas, but of the two, Bubble Gum Kush was my favorite — I enjoyed the gassy and industrial scents that burst into my nostrils as I opened the bag. The bud was fresh, easy to roll into a joint and smoked quite smoothly, with light ash, good flavor and an above-average level of potency. The Space Runtz smelled a bit fruitier, but was similarly smooth and flavorful. 

The Takeaway

Overall, Euphoria is an excellent offering for all kinds of customers. It’s a top-notch spot for tourists and locals, and smokers of all experience (and fitness) levels. The Euphoria staff were very friendly, and made me feel relaxed and welcome. The flowers were good quality, and the potable was flavorful and potent. Most importantly, the space was relaxing and cozy. This store is perfect for you if you’re looking for something Metro accessible and outside of the nightlife cluster in NW DC, or if you just want to feel comfortable and at ease.