GRADED: District Chiefer

This week we dialed up an order from DC weed delivery service District Chiefer! Was it just me or did this weekend feel especially good to live in the District? The air was crisp—hinting at fall’s ever-welcomed reprieve from the summer heat, golden autumn brawling against the fading days of summer across the greens of Rock Creek Park and the verdant, neighboring gardens. It won’t be long now before you’ll catch the first whiff of chimney smoke on an evening walk. Days like today, I can still feel the jazzy vibe that permeates the air in this town, even if we’ve lost a beloved venue or two. Or perhaps I’m simply In a Sentimental Mood? (Ed: That’s a Duke Ellington reference. Look how classy we’re getting here at GT, folks! There’s not a single Go-Bot reference in this whole review, pinky swear. I’ll let our new friend Fenwick St. Clair continue, shall I?)

district chiefer weed logo

Shopping at District Chiefer

First order of business, let’s look at District Chiefer’s fresh new website! The home page is attractive. Scrolling past the gift categories, you’ll find their hours listed and a guarantee of 60-90 minute delivery throughout Washington DC. The menu is a cinch to navigate. I went straight for the flower menu and found it full of beautiful cannabis gift photos- and videos. Quick heads-up, clicking the link will download them to your computer if you’re looking on desktop, but plays the video as expected on mobile. They are very enticing, high-res videos of some beautiful buds, though. It’s not explicitly stated, but you typically place your order via text. And if you don’t see something you’re looking for, fret not! They’ve got a chat feature on their site and in my experience, the staff responded within minutes.

I was looking to confirm the sticker pack prices I was interested in and after a little back-and-forth, settled on the indica-dominant Zarleston Chew and sativa-dominant Cherry Diesel as my free gifts. The District Chiefer crew were absolute saints to work with. They don’t have a delivery fee, but they do have a delivery order minimum of $150, or you can request a meet-up in any of the D.C. quadrants for orders between $100-$149. Once my order was processed, I was told my delivery might arrive in as little as 45 minutes. Whoa! The weed’s gonna get here before my cheesy bread! And get this: once again, the driver was ON. THE. DOT. I put in the order at 11:45AM, and they arrived at 12:30PM. Cheers!

Graded: Zarleston Chew

district chiefer zarleston chew bag photo

Upon ripping open Zarleston Chew’s bright yellow designer bag, I was immediately hit in the face by an gratifying medley of funk. The package breeched, I claimed the bounty within, and was met with sustained aromas of diesel, skunk and tones of citrus groves from the first bud. Perhaps even a hint of tree bark?

I couldn’t find out much about cultivator Finesley Farm’s Zarleston Chew, but it seems to be an indica-dominant hybrid, whose stone is associated with calming effects and a strong body high.

The few pictures I found of Zarleston Chew online match perfectly with those pictures sent to me by the kind folks at District Chiefer, which matched the nugs I finally received in my own bag – mid-sized, squat, dense, and frosted with a fine coating of smaller trichomes. Awash in amber and deep purples, the buds themselves retain a dark green hue capped by an aggressive, star-stealing show of shiny trichomes.

district chiefer zarleston chew weed photo
Photography by Gentlemantoker.com
district chiefer zarleston chew graded review table

Overall GPA: 3.1 / 4.0

Zarleston Chew’s stone hits like a 1920s jazz piano number, lighting up my lobes with a sharp ziiiiiiiiiiiing! and a paradiddle that moves with a ride cymbal’s rhythm from the first exhale, winding deep down through your core to your legs. This flower is all about the body high. Motivation to further serve capitalism’s interests waned considerably after this sesh, so I planted myself on the couch for a while. This indica-dom is a great lounge weed, perfect for passing away a day unburdened by pressing obligations or whiling away the evening at the neighbor’s garden party like an absolute Gatsby.

It was a tough choice deciding which of these delightful gifts to review, as I thought just as highly of the Cherry Diesel flowers. Between their friendly customer service, the insanely speedy delivery, and the high quality flower gifts I received, the good folks at District Chiefer are giving me Something to Live For! (Ed: See? Classy.)

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