Reviewed: Heady Club

Welcome back, my intrepid band of trans-dimensional psychonauts! Now, I know what you all must be thinking: Why isn't the captain wearing any pants? And the answer to that is a resounding Yes! Let's move on to today's mission brief — Geordi, are you watching virtual pornographies while I'm speaking? Yes, you are, your visor is sharing your screen. Turn it the hell off! No one wants to see tha... oh my. Well, send me a link. Put your hand down, android! Ahem. Are we all quite done? As I was saying, our sensors have located a vein of primo cannabino that must be must be examined in Sector I-71. Set our coordinates to Heady Club DC!

Shopping At Heady Club DC

Heady Club is a delivery service, so it was important to me that they had a functional, up-to-date website. No disappointments there! has a slick, modern layout. It’s simple to access the I-71 gift menu as well as their contact information. There’s a photo gallery to view pictures of flower gifts, as well as a chat function which stays with you as you navigate around.

After you’ve selected your gifts from Heady Club’s extensive menu, you have a couple of options when it comes to placing the order. If you’d like, you can use the online store to do so. With any method you choose, there is an order minimum of $80 and you will have to present a valid photo ID via text message or upon delivery.

When I was shopping on Heady Club’s site, I had a couple of questions, so I used the chat feature. They got back to me promptly, answered all of my questions and even gave me some guidance on their favorite concentrates. At the end of the chat, they asked me to text my order instead of calling it in, as it was peak delivery time. Once my order was in, I got a text with an ETA of 2.5 hours out.

My delivery dude arrived within a few minutes of when Heady promised he would. Masked up and mounted on a most awesome moped, he checked my ID, politely asked me NOT to count the cash out in the open, then said, “Here’s your kit n’ kaboodle” and handed off a hefty brown paper bag of awesome goodies.

What’s on the Heady Club DC Menu? 

I asked about every item on Heady Club’s gift menu, and they were all in stock. Impressive. 

Heady Club offers two tiers of flower gifts: Premium is their value tier, and customers looking for the fancy stuff will find it on their Top Shelf/Exotic menu. When I placed my order they offered eight strains of Premium flower and four strains of Top Shelf/Exotic. Additionally, they had three strains of CBD flower gifts.

For fellow fans of concentrates, Heady Club easily has one of the biggest selections I have found at one time from an I-71 delivery service. When I ordered I saw seven different strains of shatter at $50/g, four selections of sugar and crumble at the same price, and some delicious live rosin for $60/g. They also had a dozen different strains of distillate cartridges, a nice selection of edibles, and made-to-order pre-rolls!

Reviewed: c

I was excited to dip into this indica-dominant strain that boasts a Sunset Sherbert pedigree. The medley of fruity aromas in this bag hit me so hard—the sharp citrusy notes from the popular Runtz strain are almost immediately rolled over by a deeply familiar sweeter funk that brings us back to Fruity Pebbles OG (FPOG).

I chose the London Pound Cake (LPC) due to its reputation as an exceptionally pretty flower, and I was not disappointed. Dense, frosty nugs with satisfying flecks of purple are highlighted by occasional blonde hairs stretching out from the stamens. Typical of indica-dominant stereotypes, LPC has dense nuggets with excellent tree-like shape and a tip-top manicure. My bag was made up of two nearly-equally sized 1.5g trees, with a couple of popcorns for me to dissect.

Sunset Sherbet flowers

As a GT staple, I did put these nugs to the ol’ finger-test, and the stems snapped beautifully, while rebounding quickly to their original shape from the indent I made. It was also super sticky. When broken apart, LPC nugs’ fruity aroma surrendered to that of a classic skunk. 

The actual flavor of LPC is quite prominent. Again, I go back to an FPOG or Cereal Milk. The smoke is a bit harsh compared to what we’ve gotten from other top-shelf flower gifts. I found myself coughing on every other hit or so.

In terms of the high, let me just say that I am so pleased I finished the bulk of this interview before giving this sample the full GT analysis. LPC is sit-ya-down indica. This is not Happy Hour weed, folks. This is the strain you want at the end of rough days at the office, for sudden sh*tstorms that simply cannot be resolved today and must be worried about tomorrow.

Reviewed: Classic Cookies (GSC)

These buds are visually quite striking, alternating between shades of green and deep purple, with bunches of bright orange hairs spread across its surface like wildfires, and practically dripping with mouth-watering trichomes. Well-manicured, the extraneous stems have been removed throughout my sample, while some few purple sugar leafs remain for aesthetic purposes. This cannabis flower displays ideal density and structure — tight, not tough. The only knock against it is that they're a little dry. Overall, the bag appeal here is excellent.

heady club dc classic cookies weed photo


Heady Club DC's Classic Cookies has a warm and sweet aroma that reminds me of brown sugar or, like, a maple syrup barbecue rub... is that a thing? Oooh, it is, of course it is. See, this is why I don't write before lunch. Where was I? Oh yes. The smoke itself, while not particularly flavorful, is smooth and produces no acrid bite, which is exactly what we want to see. Respect is warranted, however, as it is a thick smoke on account of the heavy trichomes. Moderate pulls will avoid any brief bouts of coughing of this heavy hitter. Overall, this herb makes an excellent, pleasant smoke.

The potency is intense on Heady Club DC's Classic Cookies. A hybrid strain that leans sativa in its first phase, you'll experience a rush of thoughts and ideas that make it ideal for brainstorming or creative pursuits. That energy, combined with a generous mood boost, can make it a very productive strain for tackling a variety of otherwise annoying tasks. Small talk with the squares can be a struggle, however, as you keep forgetting you're supposed to be responding with words, not just grins and giggles. As this phase wanes, all that heavy psychoactivity presents the check and discreetly suggests a brief nap before continuing with your day. Personally, I find this combination of effects to be highly desirable and have greatly enjoyed Heady Club DC's Classic Cookies (a.k.a. GSC) throughout the week. The Gentleman highly recommends you try them out for yourself.