Today we’re reviewing Royale Dankness, a DC weed delivery service par excellence. You know what they call a Big Dank in France, Jules? Ok, I just needed that one Pulp Fiction joke, I’m fine now. Sure, the name sounds fancy, but it’s the quality gifts and stellar reputation for on-time delivery that really stand out when you look at this brand. And just like The Wolf, when you know Royale is on the way, that’s all you needed to say. Ok ok, now I’m done. Pinky swear!
Shopping at Royale Dankness
Head on over to royaledankness.com for Royal Dankness’s current offerings. Their expansive menu caters to a diverse audience, featuring ranked tiers of flower ranging from their high end “Crown Royale” tier of California branded cannabis products, on-down to their three main tiers, Royale, Gold and Silver Flowers, each of which possess anywhere from 12-15 strains. I selected “Georgia Pie” from their Royale Flower tier, the second highest on the menu.
I sent in my request via text to Royale Dankness’ hotline (a $100 minimum is required for service) and received a friendly, informative response not two minutes later confirming my order had been received and would be fulfilled. I’m even happier to report the driver arrived at the location four minutes early, and the entire exchange was completed before my requested delivery window. It’s the little things with Royale Dankness; included with each order is a mini beverage, in my case a Mountain Dew, a nice treat for the hot day and cannabis-fueled adventures ahead.
GRADED: Georgia Pie
I pulled Georgia Pie out of its packaging and could immediately smell the strain’s resemblance to a couple of southern staples; sweet tea and baked goods. Three distinct odors emerged throughout the process of grinding up the bud; sweet and herby freshly brewed black tea leaves with the tang of fleshy fruit, doughy oatmeal, and minty mulch.
The gift of Georgia Pie consisted of two bountiful nuggets with ample density and a generous, daresay greedy, display of trichome production. However, on closer inspection, these weren’t quite the fully developed, tall trichome formations we so desire, and were instead slightly immature and “greasy” looking. A minor knock upon otherwise beautiful cannabis boasting a basil green exterior with flashes of eggplant strewn about the exterior.
Grind up the flower, and a “gassy” cookie stench quickly fills the room AND sticks to your fingers. Seriously, one absent minded scrub of the hands with soap afterwards won’t do ….. Scrub-a-dub-dub up friends! Hits are generally smooth; some of the inhales can be a bit harsh, forcing a cough or two to clear the throat. The exhale and aftertaste, however, leaves a positive last impression — an earthy blend of mint and honey lingers around the palate for extended periods post sesh.
Overall GPA: 3.0 / 4.0
SERENITY NOW!! Not sure about you, but I certainly possess some of that ‘George Costanza’ manic energy. Luckily, Georgia Pie appears to be the ideal, mood alleviating antidote for episodes of mild neuroticism. A slow, but weighty influx of cerebral pressure fills the mind and begins to sit heavy upon the cheekbones and tingly under the eyes. Never overwhelming, foggy, or sit-you-down sedating, Georgia Pie’s provides clear- headed and free flowing mental energy. Time seemingly slows and I found it easy to lose myself “in the weeds” (pun intended) of random thought patterns. The strain is commonly advertised as an indica leaning, but fairly balanced hybrid which aligns with my observations.
GEORGIA PIE is confirmed AVAILABLE at Royale Dankness. Check out their menu and text (202) 931 8409 to schedule a delivery!