Pardon the interruption for those enjoying my Denver series of reviews, but your Gentleman got to sample some Tarantula caviar joints from Bay Area standout Ganja Gold recently and I thought a gift so fancy would be just a perfect review for a Friday. For those not in the know (shame!), the difference between a regular joint and a caviar joint is gooey concentrate drizzled on the outside which you use to make all those lovely loose trichomes (kief) stick on. Ganja Gold gets extra fancy by adding hash to the mix. Essentially, it’s the same thing as moon rocks but rolled up and ready to blaze. It’s the perfect smoke for a celebration and what better thing to celebrate than the weekend, amirite?
Waitasec, why is GT writing a DC review anyway? I thought that dude had gone West, you might think if you actually read this part of my weekly spiel. Aargh. I dunno. I got a good offer to stay. What can I say? Can’t keep a good stoner that kicks ass at his job down. High-five, bro! But the road…that scarlet-clad sphinx, she beckons to me with knowing eyes and a sly smile. I’m figuring it out. Not to mention one last responsibility to discharge before I can truly be free, a vaguely worded promise that allows me flexibility in its implementation but none in overall intent. Bound to this deed, one way or another, I must decide how to carry it out…
But I’m comin’ up with nada, might as well get lit, yeah? Hell yeah! Let’s get into these Tarantulas.
For Legal’s sake, let me clarify that these joints touting CO2 wax, Kief, Top Shelf Flower, plus Hash (I know, this one’s got EXTRA swank!) from Ganja Gold are the only kind of Tarantula you should put in your mouth and/or light on fire. Unless you’re in a full-on Arachnophobia sitch, in which case you are authorized to do whatever John Goodman & Jeff Daniels would do.
I think the ASPCA will understand.
But, ok, cool, Tarantula. I really enjoyed these. The smoke was incredibly smooth, with nary a cough til I got til the very last puffs and could feel the cherry on my fingers. I wanted every last drop, baby! I got two of ’em and I was truly impressed with how evenly they both burnt. The first was the Blue Tarantula, made from Blue Dream. I am thrilled that the strain is included- that isn’t always with this type of cannabis gift- and I would be surprised if any element was not processed from this flower, as the effect was exactly what I’d expect from the ubiquitous hybrid, but with extra horsepower and improved torque that’ll get ya up to sixty right quick, yessir. Strong mood elevation from a very balanced flower that lends itself well to just about any activity, whether you want to hit a Happy Hour, take in the city sights, or chill on the couch and squanch up on Rick & Morty.
My favorite was the Green Tarantula, though, made from Purple Bubba. I was elated to discover this one felt more uppity Purp than nighty-night Bubba. Taking a midnight toke, expecting soon to be asleep, instead I felt relaxed but refreshed, my mind re-energized and ready to resume the task of saving the souls of my loved ones from being trapped in trading cards by a dastardly fancy-man! Yes, I’m playing Yu-Gi-Oh!, go ahead and make fun. One, that game is waaaay too complicated for kids and two, I just love the freakin’ drama involved with dueling in the show. Sneer! Boast! Behold, My Face Down Card! Hee hee hee. But, right, this Purple Bubba would make an excellent experience earlier in the evening, especially if engaged in some entertainment. How you like how I alliterate, baby?
These Tarantula joints are very highly recommended from your Gentleman! If Friday night also finds you in the mood to celebrate, then kick the festivities off proper with the fanciest jays you can find in DC, currently available around the event scene from Dr. Trichome. And, hey look, it’s Weekend ‘O Clock, so you can get one! Or two. But don’t get all of ’em, you grabby bastards! I want more, too.