Tonight we turn the spotlight on Puff Kings, one of our favorite I71 weed-gifting brands in Washington DC. Spare a moment, sires, for your modest mummer’s preface. Twas a bright night along Brigand’s Way, Mercury ascended aside a high yellow moon when first a Jester met a King…what, why is your face doing that? We agreed I got one Ye Olde intro a year. It’s in my contract, sir! STIPULATION!!! Verily, we, ah, well, fuck. Now you’ve ruined it. Are you happy now? It’s ruined. No, I don’t want to do it anymore. Let’s talk about Puff Kings. Sniff. I said it’s fine. But here’s a blanket. For the couch. Uh-huh.
How Puff Kings Works
So Puff Kings currently offers curbside pick-up service only (from 11am-8pm everyday). You text- or use popular encryption app Signal- to send your order plus photo of your ID (blurring address & ID number is OK) and they’ll give you an address to meet them. They’ve even got a button on their site’s home page, TEXT US, that creates a pre-generated message for you to fill out. Oh, you think you’re hot shit, huh? Well can you dance like this uhhh and like that waaa-dahh! That’s right, your whole crew just got served by a muppet. Speaking of! Typical wait time is under an hour, so they can meet you on short notice.
The rest of Puff King’s website is similarly intuitive. Their cannabis gift menu lists the low-high prices for the digital art you’re purchasing- all you have to do is select a weight on the dropdown menu to know exactly what the art will cost. The flowers all contain realistic photos along with descriptions. The rest of menu runs the gamut. Strain-specific pre-rolls of fresh-ground flower, nice. Edibles made in-house from distillate, including rare 1:1 and 2:1 CBD options with their pure THC counterparts, excellent. Upper-end options of live resin, live badder, and diamonds are the only concentrate options for dabbers, but quantity is only listed on the diamonds (.5g)- I’ve confirmed that the other options listed are per gram. Their full-gram distillate vape cartridges are made in-house, but I’ve yet to sample one personally. The current specials are listed on their Deals page and they’ve included a short FAQ page to help mosey you along, cowpoke.
Puff Kings 1:1 Gummy
It’s Puff Kings THC:CBD edibles that most attract the Gentleman’s attentions. The 1:1 gummy candies, infused with 25mg of each cannabinoid, are cleanly molded into marijuana leaves and just as impressive in my tummy as they look in the tin. They taste like a gummy should, with a clear, but not overpowering, cannabis flavor. The 1:1 combination works really well for me. I like taking 1 before bed to help me sleep, because that’s a nice, calming dose that won’t leave me struggling to think my way through a paper bag the next day. Occupational hazard, I keep waking up thinking I’m hungover until I remember I was testing edibles again. The last time that happened was when I ate one and a half of Puff Kings’ infused caramels, come to think of it.
My friend is a lightweight and gets going pretty hard off of half a gummy. Personally, I might take 2 gummies if I’ve got busy work or socializing on the agenda, or three if I want to get my buzz on beachside. Feeling anything at a low dose is uncommon for me and I dig the flexibility it affords- it makes this edible a viable option for both daytime and nighttime use. The CBD component really evens the high out on Puff Kings edibles, making them a more mellow experience than the THC-only distillate to which we’ve become accustomed, and tend to work longer. They won’t force you into the couch unless you overdo it (3-4 for me). Speaking of overdoing it!
Puff Kings 2:1 Milk Chocolate
This time around I tried out one of Puff Kings’ milk chocolate candies. It’s been molded into the same leaf shape as the gummy, but the entire chocolate contains 100mg THC and 50mg of CBD. So I knew going in that there wouldn’t be as strong a counter-balance to the THC as the gummies, but the thing is bite-size, at least with the Gentleman’s infamously big mouth, and I object to eating a quarter of a silver-dollar sized candy like a grime-covered Victorian child on his shift break down at the quarry. If it can fit in my mouth, I’m eating it, dammit, this is America! Ben Franklin would shit in his grave, son! Right in it!
Yeah, so that was probably a mistake. I was already kinda drained after a long day and knew I’d be fighting Morpheus (no, the Gaiman one) to stay conscious at this dose. And, yup, that’s how it played out. I took the lot at 5:28pm. It primarily, pleasingly, tastes like milk chocolate- far less cannabis taste on this product. I was feeling it a bit 15-20 minutes in, what I thought was fully at 45 minutes, oh god it’s the Upside-Down around 90 minutes. Then I turned on Robot Chicken and laughed my head off through six episodes. That show gets dark, man, damn. I finally started to claw my way back to usefulness at 9pm, but was still buzzing hard enough not to light a joint until 11pm. That’s about five hours of effectiveness, all in all, give or take, more or less, belt hike, tobacco spit.
I’ve remarked recently that I like to smoke a little flower to really set off the edible experience. It’s a completely distinguishable difference from flower alone for this seasoned psychonaut, but this extra step is entirely unnecessary to feel the effects of Puff Kings’ potent edibles. You might consider it anyway, as it’ll get you more high than stoned, and is generally considered more “fun” amongst the crowd of beatniks and layabouts with whom you presumably associate. Smithers! My poking stick. Ah. Now poke him. Jab, Smithers, jab! Ahahaha!!!