Hello, my shmoopie pies, it’s time to check out a new DC weed delivery service- DMV42ZERO! I just returned from a quick jaunt to the coast, where I enjoyed great weather, a quiet beach, but the bud was … subpar. The hard-working word-gnomes at Gentleman Toker do not recommend wandering aimlessly in small seaside villages, settling for any semblance of cannabis you can find. First, that’s very clearly our jerb! You have to get your own jerb, Jeb! And second, that’s exactly how you find yourself face to face with Old Gregg, and you don’t want to end up like Curly Jefferson. So as soon as I got back home to DC, all I could think about was finding that fire.
Shopping at DMV42ZERO
As a first-time shopper with DMV42ZERO, I was impressed with the overall presentation and experience. Their website boasts an attractive interface; the eye is immediately drawn to large visuals of cannabis flower, followed by an easy to understand, four-step ordering process. DMV42ZERO’s expansive inventory includes over 12-pages of flower, edibles, concentrates, smoking accessories and more to browse through. Meanwhile, the flower menu had nine strains to choose between. To assist with making your selection, every strain is presented alongside a write-up detailing lineage and anticipated flavors/effects. Shoppers add their selections to their online cart, and upon checkout, prompts appear for your delivery and customer information, as well as any individualized order notes. DMV42ZERO operates as a “cash on delivery” service.
DMV42ZERO requires a $200 minimum for delivery, which is on the higher end for most delivery services in the area. After my order was placed, I received a confirmation email. 15-20 minutes prior to my selected delivery time, I was contacted by a driver via text to let me know he was en route- their ETA was within 5 minutes of the requested time slot. The driver arrived on-time with the gift in hand; an email receipt followed a few minutes later. The gift was handed to me in a manila envelope within a brown paper bag, and further secured by vacuum-sealed packaging, a thoughtful touch for those concerned with subtlety and/or smell prevention.
GRADED: LAVA CAKE
I ordered seven grams of Lava Cake, a hard-to-find strain with popular genetics (‘Thin Mint’ Girl Scout Cookies x Grape Pie) that I had yet to try. To my delight, I opened my gift to find the quarter-ounce consisted of six large, visibly dense and bulbous nuggets. The aroma quickly began to fill the room with a floral, sweet and creamy musk. Playing with and grinding up the buds, I also picked up on notes of mint, sandalwood and berries.
While the moniker “Lava Cake” evokes imagery of the popular molten souffle dessert, I didn’t find the flavor to be all that chocolatey. Instead, I found the strain to possess a sweet, pastry-dominant, almost buttery inhale with thick, smooth smoke and minimal harshness/irritation to the throat after multiple sessions.
Here’s how the flower graded out:
Overall GPA: 3.3 / 4.0
Lava Cake’s onset isn’t instantaneous, but a slow, steady influx of pressure quickly begins to wrap around the temples like a halo, clouding the frontal lobe with a heavy haze. The mind remains active, creative and alive but time is slower, more unfocused and a bit dazey. Meanwhile, the shoulders loosen and limbs weigh heavier and heavier. I made the mistake of beginning the day with a generously packed joint of Lava Cake that sent me right back to bed for another few hours and hindered productivity long after re-awakening. Definitely indica-leaning, you’ll want to save Lava Cake for after work or lazy evenings.