CBD Blueberry Crumble (District Hemp)

On a quaint little corner of Old Town Manassas, about forty minutes down I-66, lies Virginia’s very first, open-to-the-public CBD store, District Hemp. Did you read that in Morgan Freeman’s voice, by the way? Go ahead, I’ll wait. Ready? District Hemp opened its doors a few months ago and your Gentleman has been eager to make the trek down. Before we go, I gotta point out a couple things. First, if DC is more convenient for you, District Hemp often does pop-up event appearances. Second, if neither is convenient for you, you can have their products shipped to all fifty states. Lastly, I don’t care what’s convenient for you, mister, you’ll get your butt on down to DC’s first CBD Flea Market, sponsored by District Hemp and M Street Vapes next Sunday, 1/28/18 and you will behave yourself, you hear me? Here’s the Eventbrite link!

If you were expecting a seedy, boiler room storefront hustling non-euphoric cannabinoids in the dark, prepare to be disappointed. District Hemp is a bright, welcoming health and wellness boutique. Their wide assortment of chewables, edibles, oral supplements, topical gels, lotions, & patches are arrayed along the walls in light, natural wooden cubbies, interspersed with lush, decorative greenery. They’ve even got medicine for pets! Why, your old python will be strangling rodents, small dogs, and unwary children with the speed and vigor of a serpent half its age! Step right up and ask the friendly staff to peruse the CBD vape cartridges and concentrates displayed in the glass case behind the counter, like this nice lady. Hi, Dora! Here, be famous.

Ok ok that’s enough.

District Hemp kindly loaded the Gentleman up with a sweet little care package of their house Summer Fling body lotion, Blueberry Crumble, and Straw-nana Isolate. The cool thing about District Hemp’s isolate is that they’ve reintroduced terpenes to it, which provide their own benefits but also, importantly, make it not taste like you’re dabbing chalk. It’s all very la-di-da over here, folks. The Strawnana Isolate has a sweet, creamy flavor that you’re sure to enjoy, but it’s the Blueberry Crumble that has me debating whether to even clean out the bowl. That stuff is delicious. While the blueberry flavor is prominent, it doesn’t taste a bit artificial. Perhaps they have some maple syrup isolate to go with…

Both samples hit with a typical CBD experience- I feel calm, solid even, but the good mood that helps propel me toward productive activity is lost. If this is your experience, too, dabbing along with some high THC oil (not available from District Hemp) will balance things out so you can still enjoy the many benefits of cannabidiol. The isolate is the more potent of the pair, while the crumble interestingly provided a stronger body relaxation than I usually notice dabbing. That makes the crumble more appropriate for the evening, or paired with some coffee, but I don’t feel a bit tired from the isolate.

The Gentleman’s personal interest in CBD lies more in its topical application. Years of a sedentary work and lifestyle have given me a literal pain in the ass and a glass back. I’m working on it. District Hemp gave me a bottle of their 25mg Summer Fling body lotion to try out, because clearly it amuses them to make me write a paragraph about Summer Fling body lotion. You sure there isn’t a bright pink purse to go with it, a pair of kitten heels? No? Savages. Topicals are basically a pass/fail at GTHQ and it definitely passes. I’ve tried it a few times and I’d say the muscle relief lasts 6-8 hours. The sweet, floral scent is subtle enough that no one will think you work part-time at Lush. My only critique here is that it’s awfully difficult to squeeze out of the bottle.

I’m already looking forward to my next trip to District Hemp! They’ve got some Mary’s Medicinals patches that I’ve had my eye on, so you’ll be hearing my thoughts on that brand leader soon. The Gentleman enthusiastically recommends you head on down to 9023 Church St in Manassas to check it out or Follow them on IG for even appearances like the CBD Flea Market next Sunday! If you’re not ready for this Summer Fling to end, just sign up for my newsletter, baby!

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